Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
embarrassing photo courtesy of Alex Currie.
okayokayokay.
More delays, all the time. I'm working on how to put this stuff into a gallery show, and it's been boggling my mind for a longish time now. Firstly, because I don't know how I feel about it in general. There's this nice openness right now because it's not all isolated and sterile against a white wall. Then there's also the side where, because it's just the beginning of a fairly long term project, I don't want to just whip something together if it's going to end up being a standard format for something that I don't want to compromise. THEN there's also the problem where I am literally flat broke, and can't even afford to actually process the photos from the wedding.
Which leads into my second monumental problem. A major oversight on my part - I did the initial research for pricing and the Ontario website gave an estimated figure of $50 for a marriage license (or I got that from some source...), but it is actually $125 at the City of Guelph. Toronto, Kitchener and Cambridge are all $130. Worse, there's the part where I have to actually get a legal official to sign the form, which realistically should not be too expensive, since it's just a signature at the bottom of the goddamn page. Every so often I underestimate how stupid bureaucratic systems are though, and this is one of those times. It costs $200 for someone to sign my certificate. $200! For a signature!
I emailed my friend Jared Both of Barn Owl fame, who's getting his masters in theology. He's an amazing guy - I once read an essay he wrote on Christianity and dumpster diving and it was so inspiring and really challenged all my flippant opinions of what it means to be Christian. Anyway, he has offered to email around and see if any of his seminary friends are licensed under the Marriage Act and are willing to sign my certificate at a discount. I am so immensely relieved to hear that.
I still have to get a job probably, haha. I should probably have a job anyway. Or, no, that's not true, I work constantly. But I should have a more realistic way of feeding myself in an immediate sense. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though. This will happen sooner or later, even if it ends up having to wait until January when I get my fresh batch of OSAP funds. I will take it all out of my bank account at once in $5 bills, and roll in them and sleep in them and bury myself in them, then take them to City Hall and get myself a husband.
In conclusion,
gweroidhfjndmsdgggggggghhhh,
Laura
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Urgh, I've been neglecting you! I've been in a really strange head space ever since the wedding, which is honestly a pretty unexpected outcome. It's not as a consequence of getting married either, to be clear, it's just a strange overlapping of different changes. Haha. I'm going through some 'Changes.' Anyway.
I've been thinking and talking with people a lot lately about how we communicate with each other. Especially how our attempts at communicating are really distorted by the way we've been brought up. It seems tangental I guess, but it isn't really, because agreeing to put effort into understanding each other and honestly trying to be fair and good to each other is what commitment is. It seems as though marriage is supposedly the expression of this commitment - of agreeing to be together and work together at having a good and mutually-beneficial relationship. But marriage isn't what does that - it's honest effort.
To reiterate - I'm not talking about my marriage here, haha. Trevor's a great guy, we're not having relationship problems. It's actually in the context of my other friendships that I'm thinking about this communication stuff. Which is interesting in itself because there's also this expectation sometimes that the romantic relationships require all this work, as though your other human relationships don't.
I'm not really proposing anything here, just trying to put together some of the thoughts that have been pinballing around my skull for a while. I guess the way that I'm thinking of the importance of clear and caring communication (haha, inspirational alliteration) in reference to the marriage stuff is less about how the two individuals who are married communicate and more about how we as a culture treat each other generally, and talk about things generally and more importantly, how we don't talk about things.
What I'm most excited about coming out of Wedding #1 is that I've been having so many good conversations with people about it, and not often in the context of 'what makes this art?' Which is amazing and so much more than I could ever have hoped for. I'm aware that there are a variety of opinions about the project, and that's great, because ultimately the point for me is that it's a conversation worth having. Anyway. I would really honestly like to thank everyone who has been talking to me lately, and I'm blown away by how affected I am by it. See ya at the divorce party.
I've been thinking and talking with people a lot lately about how we communicate with each other. Especially how our attempts at communicating are really distorted by the way we've been brought up. It seems tangental I guess, but it isn't really, because agreeing to put effort into understanding each other and honestly trying to be fair and good to each other is what commitment is. It seems as though marriage is supposedly the expression of this commitment - of agreeing to be together and work together at having a good and mutually-beneficial relationship. But marriage isn't what does that - it's honest effort.
To reiterate - I'm not talking about my marriage here, haha. Trevor's a great guy, we're not having relationship problems. It's actually in the context of my other friendships that I'm thinking about this communication stuff. Which is interesting in itself because there's also this expectation sometimes that the romantic relationships require all this work, as though your other human relationships don't.
I'm not really proposing anything here, just trying to put together some of the thoughts that have been pinballing around my skull for a while. I guess the way that I'm thinking of the importance of clear and caring communication (haha, inspirational alliteration) in reference to the marriage stuff is less about how the two individuals who are married communicate and more about how we as a culture treat each other generally, and talk about things generally and more importantly, how we don't talk about things.
What I'm most excited about coming out of Wedding #1 is that I've been having so many good conversations with people about it, and not often in the context of 'what makes this art?' Which is amazing and so much more than I could ever have hoped for. I'm aware that there are a variety of opinions about the project, and that's great, because ultimately the point for me is that it's a conversation worth having. Anyway. I would really honestly like to thank everyone who has been talking to me lately, and I'm blown away by how affected I am by it. See ya at the divorce party.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The above portrait, seen at the wedding on the piano, was done by the marvelously talented and generous Stefan Herda. He makes his own inks - so this was painted in buckberry. It started in a pinky blue, then turned more of a green, and is transitioning into brown right now. Crazy stuff. Thanks Stefan.
The wedding was amazing, thank you to everyone who came. I'll do a more thorough response to it sometime soon, but today is hectic and I have a ton of thank you emails to send out right now.
But! I would like to put out a call to anyone who had their camera there last night! I'd love to see whatever photos you took, and I'd like to put together a spiffy book of everything. Lemme know! I suppose you can find me on facebook to message me. Or, just email me at lsimon02@uoguelph.ca
Thanks amigos,
love love,
Laura (still Simon)
Monday, November 16, 2009
Okay. okay. okkay.
It's the night before my wedding. I will be married in 26.5 hours. Interesting feeling. I'm not really that stressed about the fact that I'll be a wife, or any of that. It's all the practical elements that are freaking me out. Youtube karaoke, renting projectors, the altar, white gloves, flowers, balloons, timing, door people... I have a feeling it'll be about five minutes until it's all about to happen, then I'll have a heart attack.
I had a studio visit last week where I frantically was asking a bunch of questions about this project, in terms of the balance of humour and seriousness, and how much of this was performance. I cannot explain why, but I have this aversion to calling the project "performance art." Partially, I think it's because the term makes me think back to my grade 10 career studies class, where my bigotted teacher said "This is what left wing means..." and proceeded to dance around the classroom saying "zaaaaa zaaaaa zaaaa" and making 'artistic' gestures. It really worries me that that's how people will interpret what I do. I hate thinking that I'm going into a career that is alienating or aloof in any way. I want to be a part of the real world, too.
Also, I think "performance" sometimes infers that it's something fake, or symbolic. As much as the wedding itself will be a performative gesture, or whatever, I'm still doing this, as a person. So the project is performance as much as any wedding is performance. I guess that's okay, because there's definitely a conversation you can have about every gesture people make being a performance on some level, where they are aware of how they're being interpreted by others. But I want to be performance on the same level as that, where I'm participating in the same institutions as everyone else, making gestures that are no more profound - just reacting as a person to what's already there.
It's the night before my wedding. I will be married in 26.5 hours. Interesting feeling. I'm not really that stressed about the fact that I'll be a wife, or any of that. It's all the practical elements that are freaking me out. Youtube karaoke, renting projectors, the altar, white gloves, flowers, balloons, timing, door people... I have a feeling it'll be about five minutes until it's all about to happen, then I'll have a heart attack.
I had a studio visit last week where I frantically was asking a bunch of questions about this project, in terms of the balance of humour and seriousness, and how much of this was performance. I cannot explain why, but I have this aversion to calling the project "performance art." Partially, I think it's because the term makes me think back to my grade 10 career studies class, where my bigotted teacher said "This is what left wing means..." and proceeded to dance around the classroom saying "zaaaaa zaaaaa zaaaa" and making 'artistic' gestures. It really worries me that that's how people will interpret what I do. I hate thinking that I'm going into a career that is alienating or aloof in any way. I want to be a part of the real world, too.
Also, I think "performance" sometimes infers that it's something fake, or symbolic. As much as the wedding itself will be a performative gesture, or whatever, I'm still doing this, as a person. So the project is performance as much as any wedding is performance. I guess that's okay, because there's definitely a conversation you can have about every gesture people make being a performance on some level, where they are aware of how they're being interpreted by others. But I want to be performance on the same level as that, where I'm participating in the same institutions as everyone else, making gestures that are no more profound - just reacting as a person to what's already there.
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